36 Memories before death
by Shainilia
Summary: It is a blissful moment, when death embraces you. You feel in sync and whole. You come to terms with your live. And Petra remembers 36 times, where she was in total sync with herself.
1. Chapter 1 My new squad

A/N

Hey guys :) So I was watching SNK and now I am so in love with Levi and Petra that I just ordered a Petra cosplay x3

And I also decided to write a fanfic about them. This fanfic will have 38 chapters and each chapter can be considered as a oneshot, but together they describe a whole new story and a development of a relationship. The final Chapter will be released on 20th of May because I did some complex math with their names and this is what turned out so …. This is going to be Levitra-day x)  
>Celebrate it o.o<p>

Have fun :3

_

Chapter One – My new squad

_No, Erd, please! How, how could this happen?!_

Ohayo. My name is Petra Ral and today is my first day in Squad Levi. I am really honored to be of such usage to mankind and I am ready to sacrifice my life and you probably know, that this is bullshit.

At the moment I am scared, scared to death to be honest. Why the hell did that idiot of a commander had to choose me into the squad with the highest rate of death? I am not even that good … I was just three times outside the walls… and I saw a lot of people die. But I still can smile the same way I always do .. I guess that is the reason, why commander Erwin chose me in the first place to serve quad Levi. But I still have no idea why Commander Levi agreed.

And here I am: the only female in squad Levi. With me are Erd, Oulo and Gunther and of course captain Rivaille. Or shall I call him Levi? Still haven't decided how to call him. I think it is best to avoid calling him and if I have to … I will see.

Actually we are riding right now. To the HQ of the survey corps. _The survey corps_. I still can see the horror in my father's face when I told him, I want to join them and rescue mankind. But I aged and can now see that I will never be able to save mankind all by myself. So in these 3 years of training I learned how to trust others and that it is always easy to work together with a smile on your face.

But now I have the feeling that I am riding right into the cave of the lion. And why have I to be stick together with _these _guys. Erd and Gunther, who are silent as a grave, but when they talk they could be blunt as f*ck. And then there was Oulo, the man I turned down months ago, but who just can't let go. Kami-sama .. What did I wrong? Uhhg, I really should stop crying in my head. It has no use to be such a crybaby.

"Oi" I recognized someone saying, but I still was too occupied with the troubles in my head. Someone, I saw it was Erd, tucked my cape and looked at me with a warning glint in his eyes.

"Oi, woman!" Now I recognized that it was me who was spoken to… by Captain Rivaille!

"H-Hai?" I answered a bit too shake for my liking. "Stop spacing out or you will end up sooner as titan-toothpick when mankind could wish for. " The captain said, still looking in front of his horse with so much concentration, you could think, that he was looking out for titans.

"By the way…. What's your name?" He said in the same bored tone. "Petra, sir"

"And I am Oulo" "Gunther" "I am Erd, Sir" The rest of the answered too, without even been asked.

But Rivaille doesn't seem to bother. This was the first time that day, when I truly smiled. After all it wasn't that bad to be with these guys. We used to train a lot and we were not in the top 10 out of nothing. I smiled and it seems like it affected Erd and Gunther too. Oulo got irritated but even he couldn't hide the twitch of his lips. We smiled together as a group.

I think I could feel home in this group.

After a two hours ride we arrived. The building Rivaille was looking at looked old and castle like.

"Welcome at the HQ" Rivaille said. "You should feel honored to be in this shitty building. Because only the f*cking best of the best are going to stay here. Men, follow me in your shitty dorms and Petra? This shitty-glass over there is Hanji" He points out to a woman, who is jumping up and down at the edge and was waving. "She will guide you to your dorm. You will share it with her. There are not many girls in here. To be honest it is only you and shitty-glasses. So please be careful to not become a crazy Titanomaniac." He says in a amazingly bored and/or annoyed voice.

"H-Hai." I said while I was riding towards that woman, who has a crazy stare on her face.

"Hey, I am Petra, ma-"

"Hi, Petra-chan!" The woman interrupts and is shaking my hand, so that I nearly fell down my horse.

"I am Hanji, you can call me Hanji. We are sharing a room; I was so free to put your luggage right there. Normally you wouldn't be allowed to stay in an officer's dorm but I insisted that you would stay with me! Women have to stick together!" Gosh was this woman a talkative. But I still smiled … she was somehow different … and a lot nicer than Rivaille.

"So, wanna' see your new room" Hanji asked me. I nodded silently and she put a arm around my shoulder " Aaaw, a shy one. We will be good friends!" She grinned, why she guided me to the dorm.

I gaped. What … what the hell? This room was big… really big. I was standing at the doorframe and stared at this huge room. It was much bigger than my older room … and we were six girls to share. Now I had this big room and there was just one who I had to share with … wait... So normally officers had this room for their own? Lucky beings, I sweat dropped.

"Uhm, Hanji-san?" I asked.

"Hanji is okay. What is it?" she asked while throwing herself into the bed. " Uhm .. where .. wh-where is my bed?" I asked walking slowly into the room.

"Oh, you won't need one. This is big enough for both of us" She said like it was a total normal thing to share ones bed with a totally unknown woman. But damn, she was my superior so I just blushed furiously and stopped walking.

Kami-sama…

"Aww, I like it when they are shy." She grinned like a maniac.

"Oi, shitty glasses" I heard a bored voice behind me. " Could you get your shitty ass out of this fucking bed and get a fucking second bed?! She is new, god damn it. Don't just scare of new soldiers."

"Hai, hai, Levi-chan" Hanji said bored to death while she walked out of the room like a spoiled child. I sighted and wanted to thank him but he was faster. "Don't just let you be pushed around. You are not a fucking mob." He said, while walking out. I stared at him in disbelief and couldn't decide if I should laugh or scream. But when he reached the door, he stopped and said without a look at me: " If she is going crazy again, my room is right across the floor. And you should close the door if you don't want everybody to hear or see you standing there like an idiot." With these words he closed the door and left.

What I great first day I sighted and put my luggage at the edge. Hanji came back with a bed that I could fold together. As I wanted to fold it out she stopped me and insisted that I will sleep in her bed. I am new after all. I sighted and agreed.

After dinner, we went back to our room. " You should better go to bed now, we have to get up pretty early." Hanji said while she put on her pajamas. " Uhm … Hanji-san, where is the bathroom?" I asked shyly. " Ahh, right, right across the floor, the door with this ridiculous pink circle on it. " " Thank you, Hanji" I smiled back at her.

"You are really cute" Hanji was in her crazy mood again.

After I lied in bed I realized, that I was very tired. I wanted to close my eyes, but every time I did, I saw titans running all over the fields and crashing down soldiers. I was so distracted this day, I totally forgot, that I was scared. Just because I couldn't see them, doesn't mean they are not there… nearer than I thought to. I was scared. I only noticed, that I was sobbing, when my cheeks got wet and hanjis eyes were staring right into mine.

"Whats wrong, Petra-san?" she asked. Her voice was unusually calm and concerned. "Gomene Hanji.I … I am just scared. Pleaseignore me and forgive me for being so loud." I tried to apologize. " Hara Hara, Petra-chan. You weren't loud. I am your senpai after all." She smiled while hugging me. " Just let it oud. We were all scared at the beginning. To ceep it in you and keep quiet isn't healthy. I am going to watch over you, no matter what. You are going to be okay" She whispered. I nodded and hugged ger back. I can really feel home here.

"Thanks Hanji." I whispered, while drifting to sleep. I guess, I can really feel comfortable here.

A/N

Hi again :)

So this is the first chapter of my project "36 things I will never regret or 36 seconds before death".

I hope you like it ! I know, there is not much LevixPetra in here, but I think it is important to make the setting clear and I kind of like the idea of Hanji and Petra being friends :)

Next chapter will be: My Commander

I will try to update in 2 days. Please forgive me, if I am not able to q.q

If you find grammar and spelling mistakes you can trade them into hugs :3


	2. Chapter 2 My commander

Chapter 2

A/N

Hei Hei Hei :3 As promised , I fucked up q.q But please forgive me, I was ill … stupid flu q.q Please forgive me, I will catch up! :3

If you want to see the awesome math I did: here is the link:

So, let's get it started: have fun with chapter 2: My commander

"Ugh, it is getting hot in here." I sighted and looked over to Hanji, who was putting on her jacket. "It isn't called hot summer for nothing, Petra-chan" The crazy-queen grinned. "And if it is really too warm for you, I don't think that someone is bothered, when you just put off some of your clothes" she giggled. "H-Hanji-san..!" I stuttered while I was blushing really hard. To think, that she is an officer.

"Aaaw, come on! I was just joking." She stuck out her tongue and winked. "Besides, I really think that no one will mind. Not even Commander Cleaning-freak" The woman grinned.

"Come on Petra-chan, or you will be late for breakfast~" she poured like a cat and vanished out of the door.

"Hanji-san ~ waiiiiit" I whined while I was putting on my boots and was jumping out of the room. Of course luck is a bitch to me and I just HAD to bump into someone and fell down. "Ouch… gomene" I mumbled while I was trying to get up. When I opened my I eyes I saw a hand, offering me help. Only when I accepted and this hand pulled me up, I saw who I actually ran into …. Oh kami-sama, I ran right into Levi-haichou! Great … just great.

"Ahh, gomenasai, Haichou!" I saluted, while I avoided his gaze. "No need to apologize, Petra. But could you explain me, why you are running out of your room like an idiot, late for breakfast …. And obviously without your complete uniform?" He asked bluntly as usual and was staring right at my stomach. Wait .. what? My uniform? I looked down at myself and my eyes widened. No … how embarrassing! I furiously blushed and was trying to hide my harnessless body. How could I forget it? On my very first real day, I whined in my head. "Excuse me" I screamed louder than I had intended to. I was running back into my room and put them on. Gosh... How embarrassing.

At breakfast I sat down with Oulo and the others. We talked about our rooms and they asked where my room is.

" I live with Hanji-san in one of the officers rooms. She is really nice and the room is really big. I was also allowed to sleep in her bed, when she insisted to sleep in mine. She really is a nice person." I smiled, while eating my bread. "Oi, Petra, what luck you have. We have to share one room and it smells like shit!" Oulo said and Erd and Gunther were nodding. "And why the fuck are you still eating bread?! Look, there are loads of other things in here. We are now more than normal cadets. You don't have to be worried about your form. You are still doing well as my future wife." He said like it was nothing. "What?!" I snapped at him. "I am not going to be your wife. Never. And now stop being such an idiot!" I said, while standing up and walking out of the dining room. I wasn't hungry anymore.

"As all of you could see, or the most of you, the HQ is in a terrible state. " Levi-haichou said, while walking up in front of us. " When I was away, as always no one cared about the dust and the shitty dirt in this shitty HQ. So it is your turn to clean up. Erd and Gunther? You will mob and sweep the first and second floor. Oulo, you will clean the windows. Petra? The bathrooms and the kitchen. I will take the officers rooms and floor. You are dismissed. And I hope you will do a good job. I am not very fond of dirt or dust. So you better do a good job." We all stand there dumbfounded. Really? Cleaning? But the serious look in Haichou's face said, that this wasn't a joke. I was the first one, who dared to say something. "H-Hai Haichou! But where are the cleaning utensils?"

"Good question, Ral. You probably have to clean them too. Dirty shit utensils. They are in the bathrooms… somewhere."

"Hai!" We saluted and searched for utensils.

I decided to start with the kitchen... What a mess. I sighted. Is it really so complicated to do dishes? How old are these? 10 days?! Eeeew. Disgusting… But command is command. But really … a chicken?!

And so the day ended. Everyone finished, except me. Wanna know why? Because the term 'bathrooms' also includes the male ones. And I was too shy to just run in there and start to clean, so I waited until most of the males were in bed.

I sighted again. The last bathroom, finally! I cheered. It was the officer's one, so I had to be very careful, because Levi-haichou is using this one. And I heard how he scolded Oulo, not a pretty thought. When I was cleaning the officer's female bathroom this morning, I was astonished. They had a big hot bath… it looked like an old Japanese one, like my mother told me about. The males' bathroom just looked alike. They really have better standards than a normal soldier.

I was cleaning the edge of the bathtub-pool-thing, when I realized, that cleaning is really tiring. I dozed off while I was cleaning, when I was hearing a crack from the door.

I startled in shock and fell right into the bath. With a loud 'YELP' I landed in the hot water. Great … just great. The luck is really with me today. "Oi, Petra, what the fuck?" I heard someone say and it just had to be Commander Levi. The second embarrassing meeting we two had today.

I was trying to stand up, when I realized that the water was hotter than I recognized it. I nearly jumped out of the water, right in front of the commander. "Gomene, I was sleepy and jumpy. I shouldn't have reacted that way." I said.

Levi-haichou just stared for a while and started coughing. "It's okay", he said, while looking at the ground.

"You can clean this bath tomorrow, after you other duties. It has no use when you are tired and out of use. You are dismissed. And... Make sure, that nobody sees you …. Your blouse is quite... transparent when it is wet."

I just stared in disbelief. WHAT?! I blushed furiously and ran out of the bath right into mine and Hanji's room. What an embarrassing day!

When I lay in my bed, yes, actually my bed, I had to fight Hanji down, but she finally agreed, that this is my bed, I thought about today. It was pretty exhausting and embarrassing at once. When I thought about these two encounters, I realized something. I finally had decided what to call him.

He was no longer commander or captain or something like that. No, I finally have decided how to call him: Levi-haichou. My Haichou.

A/N

Hey hey ^.^

How did you like it? :D

Next chapter: ( hopefully tomorrow ;3) Coffee


	3. Chapter 3 Coffee

Chapter 3 Coffee

The sun was shining into my face when I woke up. Notwithstanding the fact that the birds were chirping outside my window, a glance to the clock told me it was far too early to be awake. What a strange day. But nevertheless I got up and dressed. This time watching very careful to put everything on, except of my boots. I don't want to wake up Hanji-san, so I am going to put them on outside of the dorm area. We weren't cleaning for nothing yesterday, so I think that it is okay to walk bare footed. I folded my bed sheets together and wrote Hanji a note, that I was awake. After that I grabbed my boots and tried to leave the room quietly.

Phew, finally outside! But on the cracky wooden floor, it felt like everyone could hear every single step I take. But happily no one seemed to hear me and so I could leave the HQ without being noticed.

After a view laps of jogging I tried to train myself in the 3DMG. I walked into the wood, that was next to the castle and started to move quickly but graceful around the trees. Up, down, left turn, right turn, landing on the ground, landing on branches and one time I even managed to fly higher than the trees. If it wouldn't be used for killing and if we wouldn't be in a life-taking danger, the 3DMG would have been very funny and a good free-time activity. But sadly we live in war.

Now it was time to exercise with my blades. For a stranger it would seem, like I were just cutting randomly branches, but actually these were complex strategy maneuvers we trained when we were cadets. I was so concentrated to follow the commands in my head, that I didn't recognize the person standing at the edge of the forest, watching my very moves.

After I went showering, I walked into the dining room and found it surprisingly empty. What the hell was wrong today? Dumbfounded and left with no clue I decided to start making breakfast. I started grinding coffee beans, when I realized, that someone was standing behind me. "Whoa, Haichou! You scared me!" I laughed while continuing. "Ahh. You did an acceptable job out there. I didn't know that you wake up so early. I thought I was the only one." He said while stepping beside me. "Yes, it is very strange. I really don't know what's wrong with me today. I think it is really strange that there were so much light in the morning. And no one is up yet. I thought yesterday it was quite early Hanji and I got up." "Early? You two slept until 10 o clock or something… I really don't want to know what you two did that night."

"Haichou! That's mean!" I blushed and tried hard not to cut into my fingers, while I was slicing bread.

"I don't care. What are you doing anyways?" he asked, while folding his arms with a pulled up eyebrow. "I am making coffee and slicing bread, you know."

"Thanks, captain obvious…"

"Stupid question, stupid answer" I cheered. "I am preparing the breakfast for Erd Oulo and Gunther. Yesterday they told me that the coffee is terrible and that they wished that I could make it to them. I figured out, that it is the coffee-making-machines fault, because she was really dirty and nasty. No wonder it smelled and tasted like shit. But since I cleaned it yesterday, I think, that it will taste better today" I said while pouring coffee into 4 cups and putted them on the tablet with the bread and ham and cheese.

"So, they told you to do something and you just do it?" he questioned.

"Of course. They asked me and I care for them. So of course I help them and try my best to make them happy. " I said while I smiled and was going to bring the tablet to our table, when Haichou grabbed one of the cups and took a sip.

"H-Haichou" I blushed and he just looked at the ground with the cup still in his hands.

"For tomorrow: make me also some of this coffee." He said, while walking to his table, where Hanji was sitting and smiling with a creepy grin.

" Hai, Haichou" I said while walking into the kitchen and taking a new cup for my coffee …. _WAIT._

Did Haichou just like my coffee …. And did he watch me train …. _And said it was acceptable?!_

I think today is going to be okay, I smiled to myself, while sitting with Erd und Gunther.

A/N

Hei hei :3 I know, it is rather short today… but I really have to do something for school today q.q gomenasai ,_,


	4. Chapter 4 Breakfast

Chapter 4

Breakfast

Breakfast was important.

The day of a soldier in the survey corps is exhausting and most nights are cold. Evenings were spent in the bathrooms or together with your comrades in the community rooms. But breakfast was the only time of day, where all were together and all were enjoying the same thing.

After I repaired the coffee-making-machine, coffee was a precious drink in the morning. After Levi-Haichou decided, that I would make him coffee too, Hanji and Commander Erwin insisted to have some of the "best coffee which were served here for years" too. Soon I made coffee for everyone. Don't get me wrong. I love to help my precious comrades and to be honest I am a little bit proud, that everyone loves my coffee, but it is tiring to make coffee for the whole legion.

One day I overslept. You know, I train very hard to make Haichou proud and to avoid being a burden. So I was so tired and every part of my body hurt, that I didn't thought much about my comrades, when I just turned around in bed.

I woke with a creepy Levi-face over my head. "WHAAA, Haichou!" I screamed while jolting up. "What the hay…?" I gathered my sheets around me to cover my nearly naked body.

"You didn't made coffee today. I was wondering if you are ill or something. But it seems like you are alright. If I were you, I would get up and make coffee. They all get rough if they don't get it." He said while walking out. "Why didn't Hanji wake me up?" I murmured, while putting on my clothes and I swear to god… I screamed to god, when Levi-Haichou was standing at the door saying" Because you look fucking tired."

"WHAT THE HAY? WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?! I AM STILL HALF NAKED!" I screamed. " You know, it doesn't matter if you are half naked, if you are exposing yourself to me." What?

It was when I realized, that I was pointing at him, so there was no arm or cloth that would hide my body. My red face got even redder while I screamed and hid my body.

"GET OUT!"

"Okay, okay", he said in a monotone voice, which was impressive if you think about the situation. He lifted his hands in self defense and was going to go out, when he stopped. "But you know, she didn't wake you up, because you are standing up at sunrise and go to sleep after midnight. When you were sleeping you murmured something and you looked pretty pale." He said, while I was putting on my final cloth.

"Is that so?" I said and could hit myself right after it. What a stupid question. "Are you afraid to sleep?" he asked.

"Huh?" I asked in confusion and guilt. How did he know?

He was right. I didn't sleep much, because I have bed dreams lately. My first mission is in 3 months. It seems like a lot of time, but I am so nervous. What if this would be my last. Was this going to be my life? 19 Years in a cage. Great life. When I close my eyes I see titans everywhere. Their rotten teeth are so close I could touch them. But I couldn't because this big hand was crushing my body. Why does it have to be so scary?

"You don't have to. We are all here. Hanji is right beside you and I think you are pretty close to Gunther Oulo and Erd too. And even I am here. You are good. I chose you, because you are talented and have a big heart. You won't die, I wouldn't let you" He said, while looking deep into my eyes, my soul, and my heart.

"My tears began to water and I said "Haichou, thank you.", when I heard footsteps on the floor. Hanji was leading Oulo Gunther Erd and even Commander Erwin into our room.

"Ahh, Levi, here you are." Erwin said while sitting down at a table.

"Oi Petra, you all right?" Oulo asked, while sitting next to him. "Hanji said you looked tired, so we wanted to thank you for your coffee every morning" Erd said while Gunther nodded. "So we made you breakfast! I know, the coffee isn't even close to yours, but we did our best, so we can eat all together" Hanji screamed, while putting a picnic basket on the table. " We thought about it. You make always coffee for us, but you also do most of the breakfast. So we decided to help you and make the breakfast tomorrow instead of you. You just have to make coffee, Petra-san" Erwin said, while he was helping Hanji and the others putting everything in order.

I was standing there, speechless. I could only feel, when my cheeks wetted, that I was crying. I couldn't help but sob. Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked horrified. Even Levi looked uncomfortable and wasn't sure how to react. "Did – Did we do something wrong? Shall we go?" Hanji said. "N-No." I sobbed. "I am happy. I am so ha-happy I can't stop crying. Thank you, minna" I cried and couldn't hold me up anymore and got down on my knees. "Thank you for being here and making this so much more like home. Thank you, nakama" I said while I tried to smile, but it must look pretty creepy with my tearful face.

I could see a lot of emotions in their faces … except for Levis, but even he had a small smile on his lips. Hanji was the first to speak. "You. YOU ARE SO ADORABLE" she screamed while hugging me. I was so happy that I hugged her back and after that we had a big group hug except with Erwin and Levi.

Erwin ruffled through my hair and said, that he was happy that I make this legion so much more cheerful and even Levi patted my shoulder. After that incident we all were eating together every morning. Some days later more and more soldiers were joining us and we looked like a big happy family.

The day as a soldier is hard. The nights are cold. But there is one time, where everyone is happy and cheerful: breakfast.

Ironical, if you consider, that we are all living in a cage, where the morning is the start for the hunting season of titans.

_No. No,No,no,no nonononono. Fuck. Gunther. Why? Erd, Gunther. No! I don't want this! This is wrong! Help! Haichou~!_

A/N

Hai ^.^

Sorry, that I am so late q.q

I hope you liked it and it wasn't too … fluffy? For you. ^.^

My Petra cosplay just arrived 3 Next Chap: Training


	5. Chapter 5 Training

Chapter 5 Training

One of my firs lessons, I learned so far is, to never question your superior. It may seem cruel and ruthless, but for mankind it was necessary. No doubt, your captain could be wrong, but this is his responsibility, not yours. This is one point of our training: mental strength.

But not only our minds got shaped; we have to train a lot in the woods or the fields to keep our bodies in shape.

We train a lot. After breakfast until lunch, after that a two hour long break followed by another training session. After that we eat dinner and most of the time we fall to bed afterwards. But sometimes a group of 3 or 4 are sitting in the common room, playing cards or chatting.

I usually chat with Hanji in our room. She has grown very close to me and I have grown close to her . She even sits with me instead of the captain-table. We talk a lot about comrades, titans, her experiments and missions she attended.

I really love her.

Even though, she is the only person I can speak to with personal problems, she has an own team to lead, and so we never saw us by training.

Instead of her, there was my new Team, who was training together. They were talented and nice, but still I sometimes had the feeling, that they don't take me seriously… except for Levi-haichou.

There was one moment, when I tried this new abrupt-turn-movement, when I lost balance and fell down. The ground was only meters away, when two strong arms grabbed my waist and catched my, before I could get seriously hurt. I blinked in shock … gravity is faster than you could imagine! I looked up and stared right into two ice-cold eyes. "Th-Thanks, Haichou." I mumbled, while he was bringing me down, his arms still around my waist. I landed on the ground, but this time in a enjoyable speed and not head-downwards. "No Problem, next time, try to remove the right rope faster, so you won't trip over it" he just said.

It was after I forced myself to look away from these piercing blue eyes, when the others landed beside me. "Gosh, Petra! Don't scare us so much" Oulo said, while putting an arm around my shoulder." He said lazily. "He is right, Petra. We were worried, don't just fall down like that" Gunther agreed while Erd said "You could get seriously hurt." I flushed and I was going to open my mouth to thank everyone, even Haichou, who was now going back to a 7 meter titan doll, when Oulo said it. A sentence, who was going to stuck in my mind for a long time.

"We know you are the only women here, but don't act like a crybaby. We don't have time for your women-issues."

I was speechless. My whole mind went blank. I was right. They thought lower of me, because I was a woman …

"Oi, Oulo, that's not-"Gunther tried to say, but was interrupted "It's true. We have Titans right behind this wall; we don't have time to make up for her weaknesses." Oulo said. Erd tried to say something against when I finally found my words.

"Stop it." I said in an ice-cold voice. My face was covered with my bangs, when I spoke calmly. " He is right, there is no time to make up for my mistakes. Please pardon my error. Its not going to happen again." I just walked away and tried that move again. It worked this time.

I never knew, what they replied, but I really didn't care in that time. All I wanted was to show them, that I am no burden. I am a worthy opponent and comrade. I am going to show them, that I am not just a weak woman.

After that time, I trained harder than usually. I tried my best to make every move perfect, and when he wasn't perfect, I trained as long, as I had to, even, if I missed lunch. It was a hard and exhausting time. But it worked, I became as good as Erd and even better than Oulo. Even Haichou praised me for my hard work.

It was a cold Wednesday, when it started to rain. But rain is no reason to skip training. Not for Haichou. So we went outside into the woods and split in two teams. Erd and Gunther against me, Haichou and Oulo. The one, who enters the finish line first, won and was dismissed for the next cleaning session ( which is a high prize, when you are in team Levi ).

Our team had the advantage of Levi, which was declined by following his orders. When he told me to go up and Oulo to go down, we had to follow. These were the rules. I know it sound silly, but it is really effective. You learn to move forward in no time and to flee situations, you cannot control.

Did I mention the no-cleaning?

So It started.

I was on the tries, while Oulo was near the ground and left behind me. Haichou was in front of us, leading the way.

It was wet and slippery; the bad sight and my lack of sleep lead to another and I heard a _crack_ and an insane pain jolting up my leg. _Shit_, I spread my ankle.

I could feel Oulo's glance on me, like he had heard it. No. I am not going to cry, or show him my weakness. Never again.

So I bit my cheek and run faster. We were the first. After Haichou congratulated us to our victory, he dismissed us and was going to show Erd and Gunther what to do. Oulo excused himself; he was probably going to drink in some filthy bar again. I didn't dare to take a step. On the last meters, my food hurt unbearable and I was scared to fall down, if I took another step, so I just stood there.

"Petra" a familiar voice said to me. "Why are you still standing here? You are dismissed" haichou said while walking closer to me. "If you are going to stand here longer, you are going to catch a cold. That would mean, you can't train anymore, that would mean, you will get worse." He said in an unusual calm voice. "I- I know." I said, while watching on the ground. Kami-sama, this is going to be embarrassing. "Petra?" I didn't answere.

_Punch_. It happened so fast I couldn't even blink. Haichou … just … pushed me? I landed with my butt on the ground and groaned in pain. "WHAT THE HAY?! Haichou?! Why did you do that?" I screamed, still sitting on the wet ground. "Stand up." He simply said. What? "Come on. Stand up, it's easy." He nearly smirked when he was looking down on me. "I – I can't" I mumbled. "What did you say?" a brow quirked up. "I said, that I can't" I nearly screamed and looked at the ground, embarrassed. Where is that damn black hole, when you need it? 

So I was even more surprised, when he lifted me up like princess and walked straight into HQ. "I knew it." He said. "Wha- What?" was all I could get out of my mouth.

"You did something with your ankle. Really, baka. You just had to say something. Then I didn't had to carry you around and you would be able to attend training tomorrow", he said, while kicking his door open.

"Hai-Haichou" I stammered, while he was placing me on his bed. I was red like a tomato, when he removed my shoe and watched my foot.

"It is pretty swollen. Damn, baka. You won't be able to attend training for 2 days, I think. But I guess shitty-glasses has some herbs to let it heal faster." He said while touching my foot to exclude, that I broke something. " I bandage it. Say Hanji she has to remove it in the morning. Tomorrow afternoon I will make a new one." He said while looking for a bandage.

"Thanks … Haichou." I whispered.

" No need to" he simply replied.

"it is done." He stated and lifted me up again.

"Haichou? What are you doing?" I asked a little bit startled.

"Bringing you to your room, what else?"

"It is only across the floor!"

"And?"

"I am not a trophy you can simply carry around."

He just shrugged" Sure 'bout that?" when he kicked open our room. Hanji was sitting inside, looking worryingly out of the window.

"Petra I was worried!" she screamed, while jumping up. "*gasp* Levi, what did you do to her?!"

"Nothing", he said, while putting me on Hanjis bed.

"That isn't my bed…" I insisted to say, but the glare from Levi and Hanji shut me up. I guess today I will sleep in this bed today…

"This baka here spread her ankle and didn't said a thing. I had to bandage it. Make some hurts and replace the bandage tomorrow morning." He said and was going to go out of the room, when he stopped" And make sure she doesn't leave this bed until I come visit again tomorrow afternoon.".

"O- Oi.." I wanted to say, but he had already left.

Hanji made me tea and was like mother, worried and a little bit annoying, but I still was thankfull. The next day Haichou was replacing the bandage and allowed me to attend training the next day again.

On this day I learned, to follow my haichou, but also to talk to him if I am bothered. A lesson, a lot soldiers have to learn the hard way.

I am not sure, if I learned it the hard way. It had hurt, of course …. But the warmth in my stomach, when he lifted me up wasn't unpleasant either ….


	6. Chapter 6 Cleaning

Chapter 6

Cleaning

To say that Levi –Haichou has a cleaning habit, is an underestimate… he has a cleaning obsession.

Every detail, every little spot has to be perfectly cleaned, scrubbed and in the best case ( or worst ) disinfected.

There even is a plan, when everyone has to clean what, because cleaning it once a week isn't enough … every two days isn't enough either. Of course it has to be, every, single, day.

Happily we don't have to clean our own rooms in THAT way. Just a simple tidy up and a wiping every week is enough to make Levi Haichou happy.

Except

You have a certain whizzle-head as your roommate. And this certain whizzle hat is just not capable of the words: tidy and clean.

Her clothes are lying around the room, her bed is never made, her personal things are spread across the floor and … is this food remaining on my bed? Kami-sama … Hanji !

This woman can surely make a mess in a matter of seconds.

So after the cleaning session I clean up our room and therefore she is protecting me, if she is able to.

Well… one day the newbies arrived at the HQ. They were staying here for the first few days, until they were sorted into the teams.

And of course they brought a lot of dirt into the castle … much to Levis ( and with that to our ) demise. So after they left, everyone ( Even commander Erwin ) was told to clean up "the shit, the soon to be dead kids brought in this shitty castle"…

It was pretty exhausting and tiring. Levi spotted dirt, where I would eat from… But this is Levi, I guess.

It was far after midnight; when I and Hanji fell into our beds and fell asleep immediately… and of course I didn't tidy up … a mistake as we should later realize.

The next morning I was woken by a scream… a female scream. I was going to open up my eyes und push me off the bed, when I felt a weight on top of me. Wait … what?

"Levi, gosh, I didn't know you were a pervert?" Hanji was half laughing, half screaming, while she was still sitting in her bed.

I opened up my eyes slowly, scared of what I might see … but to be honest … I didn't dislike the view I've got: Levi was leaning over me, with me between his knees, one hand on the side of my head, the other an my desk … grapping a tissue.

I blushed madly, when I was stammering: " E-Eh .. Hai-Haichou … wh-what are you, erm, doing right over me?"

"Ehh?" He said, while looking down on me. He was first looking with a death glare at Hanji, for screaming and waking me up, and even now, there was coldness and .. Regret? In his eyes, when he looked at me. " You are awake. I needed a tissue to clean up this shitty mess you are calling a room."

"Ahh." I nodded. "And?" I asked …. " Are you done yet? " I sweat dropped.

He looked at me with slight confusion in his bored face, when he seemed to realize, that he was still hovering over me. " Of course" he mumbled, while shifting himself of my bed.

"Really, you two. This is more than a mess. Hanji, I have no idea, what is under your bed, but if you don't clean it up it will eat you soon. You are excused from the daily routine today, but I expect this room to be spotless when I come back." He said while walking to the door.

Hanji totally freaked out and was screaming. "Whaaaat? ARE YOU KIDDING?! YOU ARE NOT MY BOSS?! SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT OUR ROOM?!"

"Shut up, shitty glasses, it is disgusting to think, that my room is just next door." He said while walking through the frame. But then he stopped and was staring right into my eyes. "Besides, it wouldn't be fair, if you let Petra clean up all you shit." He was shifting again. " Don't think I don't know what you two are playing. I think Petra knows where the broom is." Then he vanished.

I was staring to Hanji, still tired." What was that all about?"

"Ah, Petra-chan, go back to sleep, you look still exhausted" Hanji smiled, while standing up.

"We have to clean, I think, or Levi will annoy us, until we die or commit suicide. I think the second one. But look around, he almost did the job by himself. Just sleep, I'll do the rest.

"Haiiiii" I lazily said, while I was half asleep again.

In the evening, Hanji told me, how proud she was, that she was able to clean up and tidy up so accurately and yet was able to be so quiet, Petra could sleep threw.

Even Levi said, she didn't do a shitty job, but he still thinks, Petra should make an overall cleanup, just to be sure.

They both laughed. Levi really has something with brooms and cleaning utensils, but something in Petras mind kept telling her, that he might have something for her too. Because really .. why did he lean over her, if he just could go around the bed?


	7. Chapter 7 The flu

Chap 7

The flu

To live in a cage, may be safe, but there are risks.

The same it is with walls. To only have a restricted territory to live on, and a big amount of people, lead to a fast spread of infectious diseases. It is a big problem among the citizens, and every year lots of people die because of this.

So it is very important to be in quarantine, when you catch the symptoms of flu or something.

It was near winter, when a letter from my father reached me that some people in our village are sick and ill, but that I don't have to worry. He will be all right.

But this sentence only made my concern worse. I wanted to look after my father so bad, that I nearly broke Hanjis arm, when she tried to stop me. Luckily she did, or I would be out of duty for weeks or something. But I still am worried.

So I decided to write him letters… a fatal mistake.

Through the letters, my father gave me the virus and so I got ill without even recognizing.

I can't remember much from these days, because the fever was blurring my vision and my mind, but this is what Hanji told me about:

_Ahh, little Petra, these were very fun days. I am still wondering why I didn't got ill, but I think it is because of the Titan Salvia over my skin. Maybe .. just maybe …. This have to be investigated! But, you are right, I wanted to tell you about the things you missed!_

_So it was that Monday, when I woke up, with you still in bed. It was odd, because the most times you are up earlier than I am, because you make the coffee and everyone forbade me to help, because it would turn out horrible, but … oh, I am drifting away again.*laughs*_

_Well, I remembered, that Shorty has planed extra training the night before and this story with your father really bothered you. So I decided to wake you up at the end of breakfast. _

_Of course the others asked where you are, but I told them, that you are very exhausted and this story with your father and they all understood. Even Levi nodded in relief, I think…. He looked a bit concerned, very unusual for him._

_So while breakfast we decided to let you sleep for a while, because you haven't showed up by now. _

_When we finished, I went up to wake you. You still laid in this ridiculous bed of yours. I still think we don't need a second but okay~_

_So I called your name, but you didn't answer. I was scolding Shorty for knocking you out so much and decided to shake you. _

_It was then, when I saw, that you were sweaty, really sweaty. I laughed at the thought of Shorty coming up and complaining about all the sweat up here, but my laugh stuck in my throat, when I touched you for real._

_You skin was burning hot, Petra baby. And not just hot hot, titan hot!_

_So I was feeling your temperature with my palm. YOU HAD A BIG ASS FEVER, PETRA! A BIG AS FEVER!_

_I started panicking, when my big science brain put one and one together and I realized, that you must have catched the flu!_

_I was screaming and started to pull at my hair, when shorty came in._

"_What the hell, shitty glasses, you were supposed to wake her up not to-"_

"_No time, Shorty! Don't come near, she catched a flu and is burning up! We need to do something! I touched her, so I have to stay next to her, but you! Go tell someone to tell Erwin and then catch a bucket with cool water, the rest I've got here! Hurry" I blurted out._

_He looked slightly shocked but went to the door, but of course he had to leave his comment._

"_Never call me Shorty again, shitty classes." _

_Erwin told us, to stay with you, because we are potentially infected too, even though we didn't showed symptoms. I wanted to lay you in my bed, because it is more comfortable, but Levi told me not to, because you would be mad at me. _

_But I just had to change your clothes. They were all sweaty and wet and I had the feeling, that it would feel disgusting for you. So I told Levi to turn around, that you didn't have to feel embarrassed about it afterwards. _

_Shorty ( the hell I keep calling him like that! ) and I talked a little bit and changed the cloth we had on your forehead, so your fever will come down._

_After some boring hours full of concern and an annoying Shorty, who never left your side by the way, your squad knocked. They were concerned about your wellbeing. They brought you some tea._

_We woke you up and forced it down your throat. Sorry 'bout that *sweatdrops* But you needed the fluid._

_After that we gave them the empty cup._

_Some hours later you started moaning in pain and we gave you some herbs. That's when we realized, that it was near midnight by now. I decided to go to bed and told Shorty that he can sleep with me, but he said something like 'rather I sleep in hell than next to you' I don't care *laughs*_

_He slept on the ground, next to your bed. I don't know exactly, how this blanket came upon him, when I awoke the next morning. Because I still had mine and you had yours. But only you and I know, where they are in our room. Mystery!_

"And then your memory should hit in!" Hanji nearly screamed.

"Oi shitty glasses, don't scream that much, she is only awake for a hour or so"

"Haichou…" I said rather weakly. I hadn't recognized him walking into our room with breakfast for all three of us.

"Don't talk too much, or your voice will break or something…" He just said bluntly.

"That's not true" Hanji laughed and I smiled.

"How are the others? Did I give them the flu?"

"Nah, they gave them the flu themselves. Not your fault that they didn't cleaned your cup properly."

"Yokatta … " I sighted in relief.

The days went by and Hanji and Levi were allowed to escape the room longer than just a few minutes.

I apologized to Commander Erwin for bringing so much trouble, but he just laughed and said, that he is relieved, that I am better now.

Papa and I got healthy again and I was able to train again … but without Oulo, Erd and Gunther, because they were still sick.

But of course I nursed them, it was my fault the first place, even though I am the only one who presumes this.

But that is okay, I smiled.

HEY HEY HEY :D

Thank you all for reading this and thanks to all the reviews :)

Next chap will be up in two ours x3


	8. Chapter 8 Car Sick

Chap 8

Car sick

It took a while to nurse Oulo, Gunther and Erd, but they soon got better.

But Commander Erwin got a letter, where it was said that the HQ was not the only region with the virus and that everywhere in wall Rose people were getting sick.

Because of that, Erwin was commanded to catch his best team and to come into wall Sina to a banquet to discuss the situation.

After some discussions he chose Levi-Haichou, Squad leader Hanji and me to accompany him. The rest of squad Levi was too sick and squad Hanji volunteered to stay at the HQ to take care of them.

Hanji and I were going to pack our things into a saddlebag, when Commander Erwin told, that it wasn't necessary, we should just pack everything into one suitcase.

Hanji and I exchanged curious glances, but packed everything into one case.

It was my idea to pack our gala dresses as well, because we were going to a banquet in wall sina for god's sake.

Hanji packed in a simple blue, knee long dress and I packed a simple black long dress, which is tied behind my neck.

Hanji bubbled something like 'You must look gorgeous in that dress' and 'I want to see you in that'.

I only smiled and replied, that she can look at it, when we arrieve.

After an hour of packing, putting things in, out and in again ( packing for two woman but only one case is more difficult than it looks like ) we were done.

We went outside with Hanji holding the case, when we looked in awe at the thing in front of us.

A carriage.

We were going to wall Sina in this fancy looking, roofed carriage. I and Hanji were so excited, that she dropped our case and clapped them into mine. We were jumping and squealing like little girls.

"Erwin, why them?" An annoyed Levi said, who was leaning on the carriage.

"Ah Levi, they are somehow cute" Commander Erwin responded laughing.

"Are done yet? We are already late, because of your shitty packing issues." Levi grunted, while hopping on the carriage.

"Yes Yes shorty. Don't wet yourself. We are coming" Hanji said while putting our case to the back of the carriage. I giggled, which was followed by a murderous glance from Levi-Haichou.

"Is this your first time on a carriage?" Commander Erwin asked and I nodded.

"Ah, than you probably should sit forward. The first time on a carriage can be really … disturbing.

I gaped a bit, but Hanji has put an arm around my shoulder and exclaimed:" She is tough, Erwin, she will make it." I gulped and followed Hanji into the carriage.

xOxOxOx

Commander Erwin was right. This trip was horror. I tried to suppress it, but I think Levi probably knows that I feel like shit. I feel a little bit dizzy, queasy and tired. The trip will take approximately 6 hours, so I asked Hanji, if I can take a nap on her shoulder.

She agreed and continued talking enthusiastic with Erwin.

After a while Levi woke me up. We were resting and I wondered where Hanji went. I must have turned around in my sleep, because my neck and head were hurting.

"You are a real pain." Levi said, while lifting me up.

"Huhh?" I asked flushed red and embarrassed. What did I do now?

"Really, look at you. You slept 5 hours and 2 breaks in a row. You are pale and greenish and I think you stomach just wishes to throw up." He said, while carrying me out of the carriage.

I only nodded as response and tried to hide my face.

"Erwin?" Levi screamed. "What is it Levi?" I could hear a faint response, like he was meters away.

"I am going to ride Petra the remaining hour. I think she is car sick." He simply said, while searching for a horse.

I blushed even harder.

"Okay, but make sure, that we arrive at the same time!"

I swear I could hear Hanji squealing "Aren't they sweet together?!" But I choose to ignore it.

After Levi found a goodlooking black mare, he let me down. But he still hold my shoulders, to be sure, that I am standing. "Can you get up there?" he asked gently. I nodded unsure. I didn't want to talk, because I felt like throwing up if I opened my mouth.

With a lot of help from Levi, I finally managed to sit on that horse. I was so embarrassed, but the good thing was, that my mind seemed to get clearer.

I breathed in and out and began to wonder, how I should be able to ride a goddamned horse in this state, when I could feel Levi sit up right behind me.

It felt like my stomach was heating up, when he laid his arms around my waist, to hold the rein.

"Are you alright?" he asked. His lips were so terrible near to my ear that I blushed harder than before ( if that was even possible ).

I nodded and he gave the mare a sign to walk.

I nearly fell off, but his arms kept me in place. " I knew it " he said mockingly and I could swear, that he grinned, when he said that.

I pouted but giggled. My head was clearer than before. The air of dawn was really helping to breath.

I really enjoyed that ride. The landscape was beautiful and the lights were astonishing. But also Haichous breathe on my neck, his arms around my waist and his muscles on my back made this trip really worth it.


	9. Chapter 9 First Mission

Chapter 9 First Mission

The banquet in wall Sina was not, as I thought, to discuss the current virus situation, but to prepare something else: a new mission. Its official purpose was to study a new anomalia Squadleader Hanji discovered. She stated, that she found a titan, who was indeed able to speak. She didn't understood, what he was trying to tell her, but what she was able to understand, was, that he was in a state of inner conflict, because at first, he wanted to talk to her, and then, he wanted to eat her. And after that, both at the same time.

The time she spoke, I stood some meters away from her, behind the crowd, which was listening to her.

I was also listening to her explanations , when I heard some giggles in front of me. Trying to ignore it, the laughers were getting louder and louder and so I looked, who was so rude, to interrupt Hanji. Even though, Hanji was Hanji and so she couldn't care less.

Never the less, there were two old men sitting there and I couldn't help to listen to their conversation.

"Really, what was Erwin thinking? A woman as a squadleader!"

"You are right pal! And look at what she is wearing! There is only one way a woman could achieve such high places."

"I never thought, that Erwin would be so low. We are talking about humanity."

"Couldn't she at least have worn something more serious? This isn't her laboratory"

"This woman is crazy. She will be the downfall of humanity."

"Titans talking. This is just sad. How could a woman be so low..."

"She should just get married, like all the other female soldiers."

At this point, it was getting more and more difficult to cool my anger down. My fists were balled and i was looking to the ground, to not let the tears of anger spill. They were not only talking females down, but also were they gossping about Hanji. It is true that Squadleader Hanji is ... Hanji, but she also is one of my closest friends. If you get to know her, she is caring and lovly ... on a very unique way.

At the moment, I thought, my anger coudn't increase anymore. one of the _gentlemen, _was turning and looked at me.

"Hey Sweetie, be a good girl and get me some gin." He laughed and was slapping my ass.

He was turning around and all I had in mind was white fury. I was ready to hit the crap out of him, when someone hold me back.

"Hey, Hohenstein." A deep voice behind me said.

This Hohenstein person turned around, surprised and said "Oh, Capt'n Levi, long time no see." He smiled, but then his eyes lay on me. Levi let go of my arms and I, unable to look this horrible person in the eye, was looking at the bottom.

"You are still here? What kind of maid are you? Hurry up and get some Gin for me and my friends. You can count can you?" He and his companion laughed.

Still blinded with fury, I wasn't able to move.

"Hohenstein" Levis voice sounded more bored than usual, which made me curious. It sounded, dangerously cold. Was he ... going to defend me? Surprised by his actions, I looked up at him and saw his usual bored expression. But there was ... something in his eyes, which made my spine shiver.

Even Hohenstein recognized the tendernis and looked a bit surprised to Levi.

"I would really appreciate it, if you could stop to mistread my subordinate."

A little shock was seen on his face, but he was fast to hide it.

"Oh really, she didn't look like a soldier in this dress." He laughed, but a bit more nervous, than before.

"I bet you would have said, that she wasn't dressed formal enough, if she would have attended in her uniform, if you would excuse us." He grabbed my hand and dragged my to the balkony

"Shithead" he muttered. Only than I smelled it. Alcohol.

"Eeh, Levi-heicho?" I asked carefully, not to anger him in his state.

"What? Want to go back to shitheads, who treat you like shit, when you are the nonshittiest thing I've seen in a long time?" Wow... he is definatly drunk. A wonder, that he didn't curse infront of these man.

"Levi-heicho .. are you drunk?"

"What if?" He asked and in one second he was ontop of me, too drunk to even stand up.

"Eeeh, Levi-ha-"

"Don't!" He said and I was blushing, because his face was so near to mine.

"Call me Levi. We are in private here." And than his face fell to my shoulder.

Still flushed I tried to hold him up, but he was surprisingly heavy.

"Come on Levi-hai- , I mean Levi. We have to got you into your bed, or ... it would be embarrassing."

"Aaaah..." He just groaned and I thought that he might be asleep any second.

So for half an hour, I tried to get him to his room. We were infront of mine and Hanjis room, when he was finally asleep. And it was just impossible for me to carry him to his room.

I was desperate and didn't know what I should do, when Hanji came around.

"Oioi Petra babe, what did you do?" she laughed, obviously drunk too.

"Moi, I didn't do anything! He was drunk like that, when I found him ... or he found me." I tried to defend me, but Hanji was too drunk to even recognize, that I said something.

"Let him sleep with us!" she squealed and dragged him into our room.

"Hey Hanji, you just can't -" But I was too late. Hanji had put Levi into my bed and was fast asleep in her own a mere second later. "Hanji ~" I whined, but it was hopeless.

I had no other idea, than to sleep at this very uncomfortable looking couch. Without a blanket. Thanks Hanji.

I groaned, as I was laying at the couch, longingly looking at mybed. I really wanted to sleep in my bed, my neck was still hurting from that carriege ride. I was staring at the bed and the man, who was laying in that bed. Only after 10 minutes of staring at Levi, I recognized, that my whole train of thoughts was about this man and how badly I want to lay in this bed ... _with_ him.

Shocked by myself, I blushed and turned around, so I didn't had to look at him anymore.

I just can't be inlove with my superior!

After a minute, I also was asleep.

I didn't even regognized a very surprised Erwin, who was searching for Levi, found him in here, saw me blushing, while looking at Levi and finally brought me a blanket with a soft smile, muttering "Its like they searched and found each other."


End file.
